The balance between passivity and aggressiveness can sometimes be a difficult thing to find.

Many find themselves being too passive in a situation which demands a more direct and confident approach, whilst others, in an effort to correct this, are too aggressive and domineering.

On our Assertiveness Training Course, we show you how to maintain this perfect balance and become more confident in your approach.

Assertiveness is neither being passive or aggressive but rather making your opinions be heard, recognised and respected.

It is the ability to withstand outside pressure and bias and stay true to what you know is right.

Assertive Leaders

Assertiveness and leadership often go hand in hand and whilst it is true that leaders are often assertive, it does not mean that they are the only ones that should be.

For instance if we take a look at the dynamic of a team, it doesn’t take much to see that if some members of that team are holding back their ideas because they are too scared or feel that their opinions won’t matter then the team will struggle to achieve the best result.

On a more individual note, assertiveness can benefit your career, you social status and even  help you define a better sense of who you are, enhancing not only your ability to reach your goals but the self belief to dream of such goals in the first place.

Respecting others

One of the fundamental elements to being more assertive is to believe what you say matters whilst (and this is often overlooked) respecting other people’s opinions.

Being assertive means not only making yourself heard but also taking into account what other people are saying to achieve the best results.

Assertiveness is not bloody mindedness; it is being clear and direct without being so overly dominant it sets people against you.

When talking to someone turn to face them, look them in the eye and speak clearly and confidently.

Be willing to give an honest opinion and don’t be afraid to say no. Saying yes does not always equal respect, it is the confidence and determination to stick to your guns that people will admire.

Be pro active; start conversations, this way it’ll be you who’s immediately setting the tone for the relationship.

Don’t dawdle or beat around the bush; if you want something ask for it. There is no point in mumbling out a covert or confused question because it will only result in you having to repeat it which can diminish your confidence.

Conflict

It is also worth noting that people will respond better to any aggravation you have if you do not blatantly direct it at them. For instance, instead of saying “you make me so angry”, say “I am so angry”.

There is nothing wrong with expressing your feelings but make sure you don’t make the situation worse by hurting anyone else’s.

It is not just what you say, but how you say it.

Your facial expressions and tone of voice are an important factor in determining the dynamic of a relationship and can often mean more than the words that leave your mouth, so be careful

Humour

Don’t be too cautious about letting your sense of humour show; it is not a weakness, in actual fact it is a strength.

If you find something funny don’t be afraid to laugh, you will often find other people will join in after they see it is OK to do so.

In fact if this situation does arise and other people do join in it’s a good sign; it means that you have become the person that the group looks to for guidance, your opinions and even your approval.

Assertiveness is a balance between self belief and respect and can be difficult to get right but, like anything, will become easier to enact after taking frequent small step towards ingraining it your mind.

While you may feel you are doing just fine as you are, if you don’t back yourself and your own opinions then neither will anyone else

Give it a go: be assertive, be heard and be the best you can be!

Assertiveness is just one of the traits required by great leaders; to learn the others, come on our Leadership Course.

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